Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she told me i tasted like america
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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