ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
