Having a random hookup so left but love u
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
