just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
