Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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