How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
