would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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