So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
