U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
