Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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