I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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