Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize