last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
