so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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