so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
