So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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