you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
