so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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