And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
