you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
