You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
