you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
