The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
