Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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