i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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