And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
