had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize