Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He better not be in your backpack
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
