She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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