This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
