new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
