five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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