So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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