Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
