Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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