kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
