so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
