I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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