This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
my poor anus
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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