A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
