wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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