piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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