I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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