You can't special order awesome
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
