Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
