addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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