I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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