I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
