i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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