these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
