Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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