I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
