we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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