now i know why i became what i already was.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
