I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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