# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize