Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
