Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
