If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
