Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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