i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
